So this was fun...

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After our company party on friday, half the office came down with the flu...

In my case, not just me but all the kids fell ill. Wonderful, as you can imagine, and even more so since tuesday was Jacobs birthday. Yes, this lovely boy got to start his sixth birthday quite under the weather. 

In the end, I think he was happy enough with his birthday, and the presents. Still, he repeated throughout the day "It's no fun being poorly on ones birthday!". I quite agree. 

This mornings miracle

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This morning marked a huge milestone in my life. I let Jonathan go to school by himself.

To be honest, I only let him go the last fifty meters alone, but for me it was huge. Watching him walk away from me, this little person who has become so big and I feel like I didn't even notice. I can't control him all the time any more. He will do things by himself. He has friends and interests that don't involve me. He wants to go to school by himself, because he is a big boy now. 

I want to be happy for him (and me) for this huge step towards personal freedom that he's taken, but to me it felt as if the whole world came falling down. So hard to let your children grow up. At the same time, I'm so proud of him, how big he is now, what a wonderfull person he's turned in to. Letting go is hard...

where my mind wanders

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This is Milo, I think its taken about two and a half years ago. We're having a happy, carefree summer day, lazying around in the park, rolling in the grass. He looks so happy and relaxed, so completely free of any worries.


This is how I want to feel.

What have I gotten myself into?

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I've attended, and somehow ended up helping out with, the last two vim meetups in stockholm. I'm not much of an avid vim user, but I use it when I need to, and I appreciate a lot of the functions it offers. I'm not really sure what I think of having an editor that it somehow a language in itself, but there are times when I've been happy that I know how to (slowly) manoeuvre my way about files using vim.


My editor of choice when it comes to writing code normally is Sublime, and I must confess that I don't know all of it's shortcuts yet, so learning some vim might seem like jumping the gun a bit. And maybe it is. But we do a lot of pair programming at my work, and some of us use Sublime while others are avid vim users. Being able to at least use it seemed wise.


Only, at the last meetup, I somehow agreed to do a lightning talk on Vim for absolute beginners. I really have to work on learning to say no. What could I possibly have to say on vim that would be of benefit to anyone? I don't have an issue with talking in front of people (being a teacher kind of knocks that out of you), but in this case I have no idea what I will talk about, and contacting the hosts to tell them it's a terrible mistake and I really have nothing to talk about and am the completely wrong choice for a speaker seems very much the right thing to do...


But chickening out isn't really my kind of thing, so most likely I'll end up doing the talk anyway, to everyone's dismay.


And when my stomach churns and feels like it's home to a thousand butterflies, I'll do well to remember Jonathan in this picture. The two smaller ones are wrecking havoc around him, and he's meditating. Don't ask me where he learned it, I never meditate. But he seems to enjoy it, and if it brings him some inner peace, I should probably take a leaf out of his book and give it a try!

My morning view

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After a really shitty morning, I'm greeted by this view on the tram station. How could you not cheer up? Beautiful.

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This is Milo, my baby. Although he's not a baby anymore, but four and a half years old already.

He still sort of acts like a baby, throwing tantrums and lisping and not really listening. He's absolutely charming, of course. He looks like an angel, and behaves like a little devil.

I call him my Samson, I believe all his powers stem from his hair, which has never been cut and hangs to his waist in long, curling ringlets...

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by Hilla Duka - View comments


Let me introduce you to Jonathan. He's my oldest son, and seven and a half years old.


He loves Harry Potter, Beyblade, and reading.


He gives me a manicure every saturday, complete with nail varnish and a hand massage, and stays after dinner to sit and chat for a bit. He asks me how my day was when I get home, and teaches his brothers to read.


He's the best oldest child in the history of oldest children, I kid you not.

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